Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

I hate waiting.  It seems like I've been doing a lot of it lately in regards to this whole weight-loss journey that I'm on.  Last Fall, I decided it was time to take control of my weight for the first time in my life.  Sure, I've tried things in the past, but have always gotten overwhelmed and "fallen off the wagon" as the old adage goes.  Then, well... you know how it goes.  You mess up, you get frustrated with yourself and you give up.

Over and over and over again.

2012 has been a year of milestones for me.  I turned 40, my oldest son graduated from high school and will start college in the Fall, my "baby" will start kindergarten and my middle son starts high school.  2012.  My father-in-law passed away in February making my husband an "orphan" and, now,  he has been offered and has taken a new position starting mid-August. 

Yup, a milestone year. So, late last Fall, after years of thinking about, talking about and praying about it, I decided to pursue a surgical means to weight-loss.  I chose to pursue the lap-band procedure because it's the least invasive of the three different kinds of bariatric surgery AND if there are complications, it is easily reversible.

What a journey it has been!  Appointment after appointment.  Dieticians, sleep studies, GI procedures!  Now, six months after "officially" starting the journey, I'm ready for surgery and have been waiting a month to get the "OK" from insurance.  It's been a time of self-reflection, changing behaviors and learning to think in a whole different way. 

The hardest part has been learning to eat more consciously and intelligently.  Asking myself, "Is this what I really want?  Do I really need it?  Is it worth the calories?"  I have realized that I am an emotional and bored eater. I have also come to realize that my addiction is food.  It makes me feel good!  Unfortunately, although it can be as addicting as any other "drug", it's not one you can just give up.  It's a daily struggle for me to make wise food choices rather then opening the fridge and eating whatever looks good.  I don't keep ice cream or treats in the house anymore. I don't need them and, really, my family doesn't either. 

I said that this blog was going to be a peek into my life and my journey.  I try to keep Ephesians 5:8 close to my heart.  To be a light in the darkness.  I want to have that spark that people are curious about, that people ask about.  I want to inspire other people.  I want people to look at me and say, "Well if SHE can do it, I can to!" 

If I can do it.. so can YOU!

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