Monday, July 16, 2012

I've lost a Rachael and I don't want it back!

Ok.. I didn't actually LOSE Rachael, but I've nearly lost the equivalent of her and that was a little mind-boggling for me to think of today.  By the time I go in for surgery next week, I will probably have lost more than what my 5-year-old daughter weighs over the course of the last 6 months or so.  

I had my pre-op appointment today with my primary and was pleasantly surprised to find out that I've dropped another 8 pounds since last Thursday.  That brings my total pre-op weight loss to 39 pounds! Rachael (for fun, because the scale talks!) weighed herself yesterday and tipped the scale at 42.7 pounds.   I haven't weighed this little (don't want to say much!!) in probably 10 years.  For the first time in my life, I wasn't panicky about stepping on the scale, but a little bit excited!

So what does 40 pounds look like?  Well.. I used the magical power of google and came up with a couple of things:  
This is 40 pounds of butter.  In case you don't want to count, that is 160 sticks of butter!
 And this is a 40 pound cat.  Well, actually a 39.1 pound cat, but it's a HUGE cat!

Now I have a LOOOONG way to go to get to a healthy weight, but my head is in such a different place now.  I have learned some self-control.  I have learned to make better choices.  I have learned to question myself as to what I'm actually feeling.  Am I REALLY, REALLY hungry?  Or am I stressed, sad, tired, etc... Any one of those would've triggered a snack in the past.  I no longer walk past the fridge and mindlessly open it because I know, when I do that, the chances of me taking something out and eating it are pretty high!

Like I said, an interesting journey and one that I would do over again, even if I weren't able to have the surgery.

So.. some may be thinking, "Why are you still going forward with surgery when you've done so well on your own?"  I've thought about that and I'm resolved to have this surgery as a tool to help me continue to lose and reach my goal.  This is a tool that will make it very hard to get lazy about my eating habits because there is going to be that constant reminder that my stomach will not be able to hold nearly as much as it did before and if I try... well, I won't like the consequences very much!

This is a path I will continue for the rest of my life.  I am so blessed that my family has embraced me during this time.  My husband is my greatest supporter!  He even bought me roses yesterday because he said he was so proud of me!  My 14-year-old son has taken over dinner duties since I've gone on the liquid diet.  He didn't even let a mishap from the grill (nearly lost his eyebrows!) hamper his enthusiasm!  My 5-year-old is always asking me how many pounds I've lost.  She's just been so sweet!  The 18-year-old isn't home much, but he's told me he's proud of me.  To get those affirming words from your teenage boys is pretty special.

My extended family have been supportive and my church family has been holding me up in prayer.  I'm overwhelmed with the support I have had.  It's absolutely amazing and has shown me that I have a huge support system out there!  I can do this! I will do this!  I'm excited about it, too! Now, I need to go make my before-bed protein shake!

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