You know, one saying that I have come to hate is "God never gives you more then what you can handle." On the outside, it seems like something nice to say to someone who is going through difficult times. It's one of those bits of advice that I know I have been guilty of giving in the past, but after the last year or so, it's now out of my repertoire of words to say to a person going through a trying time. You see, I challenge you to find, in the Bible, where it says that. God has never told someone that. Look at Job, Moses, David, Solomon. Look at Peter, Paul, or any of the other apostles that died or were persecuted for their faith. God does give us more then we can handle, but He then expects us to lean on Him for strength. He alone gives us the strength to get through the trials that this life throws at us.
Well, no wonder God was quiet. I was making it all about me. Just like a little child. Yes, I was hurt terribly. Yes, because of what happened, my husband and my children were affected. There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could do to fix it and go back to how things were. I was too busy trying to hear what I wanted God to say rather than actually listening to what He was telling me. Psalms 46:10 tells us to "Be still and know that I am God." I wasn't being still. I was restless, I was angry, and I wanted answers.
I think we're on the healing side of things now. Things are settling into a new normal. We have a new church family that we're trying to figure out where we fit. There are still outbursts and sadness, but when I look back at what happened, I can see God's loving Hands in it. I am still sad when I think back on the series of events, but I'm not angry anymore. God has shown me why He allowed what to happen, happen and I am at peace with that.
I know God has a plan for my life. He knew me before I was born (Jeremiah 1:5), He knows the number of hairs on my head (Matthew 10:30), He will guide me (Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 37:4-7) and most of all, He loves me (John 3:16, Romans 5:5, Psalm 33:18-22)!